#BostonStrong: Conquering My Fears and Lacing Back Up

I’ve been thinking about writing this post and lacing back up since the Boston Marathon.  I need to move beyond failure, conquer my fears and cross the finish line…

What happened on April 15, 2013 is unimaginable.  As a Bostonian, Patriots Day is the best day in Boston.  Anyone from Massachusetts will tell you their favorite place along the route to watch the marathon: St. Ignatius church at Boston College is my place.  Marathon day for me has always been spent at Boston College!  Over the years, I’ve cheered on Johnny Kelley, Bill Rodgers, Uta Pippig, my Uncle Ron, Jenny Deane, the Hoyts and many more.  The runners have just finished climbing and descending Heartbreak Hill.  Plus, it marks five miles left until the finish line – the perfect place along the 26.2 mile route!

In December 2002, I had defended my dissertation at Boston College and was working at the Campus School on the EagleEyes program.  That winter, I decided to train and run the for the Campus School.  It was an extremely cold winter, but I made it through the frigid temperatures and water bottles freezing on long runs because of my running partner Gaby, a junior at BC and a loyal volunteer at the Campus School.  Our typical route was two laps up and down and all around Heartbreak Hill.  We had thought that if we trained on Heartbreak Hill as a regular run that we’d be mentally ready to conquer it on race day.  The days I ran with Gaby were full of hope and promise, not to mention lots of laughs and so much fun!

Ready for race day, my adrenaline was pumping!  The rhythm of pounding feet, your heartbeat and hearing your own breathing in synch – it’s a beautiful thing!  The crowds were cheering, music was blaring, American flags were waving and I was in the running zone!  It was a glorious day to run.  But, somewhere between the 8-10 mile mark my right leg was tight.  I stopped to stretch and the minute I put pressure back on my right leg, my knee buckled.  I was all done.  My race was over and I would not cross the finish line.

Devastated, I kept going, swinging my right leg around.  I had to convince Gaby to go without me and cross the finish line for both of us.  From the Natick town hall, my emotions had got the best of me and I was sobbing, feeling like a complete failure.  In tears, I managed to keep pushing through even when the crowds had left, the water stations packed up  and the timers at the mile markers were removed.  My family had sent out a search party looking for me, my college roommate Sherri in the above photographs found me around mile 18, just prior to starting up Heartbreak Hill.  I never got to see if I was mentally ready for Heartbreak Hill, I never got to run by St. Ignatius church, I never got to cross the finish line…

I did however, get to go through extensive physical therapy for my IT band injury.  Failure is powerful thing, so is fear.  Since 2003, I’ve avoided running outside and have remained safely on a treadmill.  For cover, I blame my bad knee, but in honesty I’ve been afraid to fail again.  I’m hoping by admitting it and addressing it, that I can finally overcome it.  What happened in Boston this year makes me want to conquer my fears and finish what I had started in 2003.  Plus, I want to finish it for all those who were unable to finish it this year.  I’m ready to lace up and hit the pavement running!

It might take me until midnight to cross the finish line in 2014, but I’m determined this time!  Hoping the Campus School will take this proud alum back as a runner!  I will make it up Heartbreak Hill!  I will proudly pass St. Ignatius Church and I will cross the finish line!

The importance of being present

I’ve seen this posted on many of my friend’s Facebook pages the last several weeks.  I’m unsure of the origin or I would give the original author credit.  All I know is that this is a reminder to all of us to be in the moment and to always be present.  I struggle with this balancing act.  We all do.  But, I try to be present when I’m with my son, my family, my students and my colleagues.  I try to model what it means to be present.  Just because I have a device in my pocket that connects instantaneously to the world, doesn’t mean that I should break eye contact and check my device every time it buzzes or beeps.  Nothing is more important than the face to face moments we encounter everyday.  So, try to walk away from your device and don’t let it control you.  Be conscious and be present.

Image Credit

Dear Mom On the iPhone,

I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone. It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it? You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.

But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..

Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.

You aren’t.

Your little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!” I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.

He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.

Now you are pushing your baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. You don’t see her though, do you? Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing.

Talk to her. Tell her about the clouds, Mommy. The Creator who made them. Tickle her tummy when she comes near you and enjoy that baby belly laugh that leaves far too quickly.

Put your eyes back on your prize…Your kids.

Show them that they are the priority. Wherever you are, be ALL there. I am not saying it’s not ok to check in on your phone, but it’s a time-sucker: User Beware!

Play time at the park will be over before you know it.

The childhood of your children will be gone before you know it.

They won’t always want to come to the park with you, Mommy. They won’t always spin and twirl to make their new dress swish, they won’t always call out, “WATCH ME!”

There will come a point when they stop trying, stop calling your name, stop bothering to interrupt your phone time.

Because they know…

You’ve shown them, all these moments, that the phone is more important than they are. They see you looking at it at while waiting to pick up brother from school, during playtime, at the dinner table, at bedtime…..

I know that’s not true, Mommy.

I know your heart says differently.

But your kids can’t hear your words, Mommy. Your actions are screaming way too loudly.

May our eyes rest upon those we love, first and foremost, and may everything else fall away in the wonderful, noisy, sticky-fingered glory of it all.

 

Be the solution!

Since the suicide of Tyler Clementi, I have had a new direction and drive in my teaching and scholarship.  I am committed to making sure that our K-12 teacher candidates are well-versed in all aspects of digital citizenship.  It is imperative that 21st century learners, educators and parents understand the seriousness of living in a networked world.  According to the Pew Report in April 2012, 95% of 12-17 years old are online and 80% of those teens are online using social media sites.  If schools ban devices or block social media sites at school, how can teachers model what it means to be socially responsible online?  We desperately need to engage our children into this critical conversation.

Props to Janell Burley Hofman for writing and sharing such an important letter to her son, Gregory’s iPhone Contract.  As a society, we need  more of this!  Our young adolescents will not understand how their actions, words, pictures and videos can directly influence their own lives and the lives of others if we don’t take the time to ask them to be part of this conversation.

Thank you Janell for the inspiration!  As I say every semester, “If you’re not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.”  Here’s to 2013, a year of being the solution!  I can’t wait for our spring semester to begin later this month because I’m going to focus on rules #7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14.

Reflection and Inspiration

After writing my end of the year report, I find myself in deep reflection.  It was a tough spring semester.  I made time for my students, my department and my college (now a university), but I fell short for making time for myself.  For the most part, I was silent on my blog and Twitter.  I was a consumer and not a producer.  As a result, I find myself at an end of a semester and academic school year, exhausted and empty.  To recharge over the summer, I’m taking advice from Sean Musselman and a recent #elemsci chat:With help from Pinterest, I got some great ideas for an explorer’s backpack!  I started collecting supplies (binoculars, a compass, journals, colored pencils, a bug jar, magnifying lens, specimen bags, a net, a camera, and a copy of One Small Square Backyard by Donald M. Silver) and presented the explorer’s backpack to our son on the last day of preschool!  He was beyond excited and so was I!

I’ll be blogging our explorations this summer with our five year son on The Explorer’s Site (our first adventure to Roaring Brook Nature Center yesterday is already posted).  It will be my first time trying Google Sites (thanks to Judy Arzt for my crash course this week) and a perfect opportunity to encourage science literacy, as well as the simple joys of being an explorer!  A wonderful way to recharge over the summer and put myself back on my own priority list!

Happy exploring to all!

The Bully Project

I saw the Bully Project last night and I hope parents, teachers and administrators throughout the country will bring their children and students to see it.   How do we engage more people in this critical conversation?  The statistics are dire: 13 million students will be bullied in the U.S. this year and 3 million students are absent each month because they feel unsafe at school.  Look at your school’s mission statement.  I guarantee you that it states that your school is a safe haven for all.  Its time that we create schools where everyone feels welcome and safe.

There were parts of this documentary that made me so angry and other parts that made me cry.  I applaud the students and parents involved in telling their stories and exposing the seriousness of bullying.  Using the excuse, “Kids will be kids or boys will be boys” is no longer acceptable.  I sobbed listening to the students and parents share their pain.  This is a national epidemic which effects children of all ages across our country and around the world.  The time has come and enough is enough.  What are you going to do to be the difference?

Please join #digcit chat on Wednesday, 4/17 at 7 PM EST to be part of the solution and help our schools lead the change and be the difference!

After #ne121 I want to move to Burlington, MA!

After attending #EdCampBOS last year, I was hooked on the edcamp/unconference experience!  I gladly volunteered to help plan the first #EdCampCT in August and was excited to attend the New England 1:1 Summit at Burlington High School.  I had no idea that this would be a such a game changer for me.

I was happy to arrive a day early and meet Sean Musselman and see the Science Center and this is when I first thought, “I want to move to Burlington.”  Why? Here are just a few reasons…

I have never seen anything quite like Burlington’s Science Center!  Our five year old son, a budding scientist would thrive in this environment!  Every young child comes to school curious about how the world works and Burlington provides ample opportunities for inquiry and discovery through the Science Center.  Plus, the educator in me would love to use and teach with all the science kits and have animals rotate in and out of my classroom.

They have nailed school climate!  You can feel it when walking through the school, talking and meeting with Burlington teachers, students, speech pathologists and the superintendent!   We had lunch with four students and it was obvious that the Burlington School System has created a positive student centered learning environment.  Who wouldn’t want to live here?

Did I mention that Burlington is committed to a 1:1 learning environment?  This is just another reason why I want to move to Burlington!  The whole system has bought in and this is why #ne121 has changed everything!  The edcamp model in Boston and Connecticut gave me hope that there are educators out there passionate and committed, but Burlington represents an entire school system of change agents!  Now, this is hope!

After #ne121 I’m ready to change the game in higher education and bring this experience to our campus in May! Hope you can be a part of Dialogue21 on May 5th!

What’s your digital constitution?

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What’s your digital constitution?

One of my graduate students created this digital constitution with her sixth grade class last semester and as I write this post, I hope more teachers and classrooms will be encouraged to do the same.

I’ve become more aware that teachers are unsure how to teach digital citizenship. Teaching a lesson or a unit is not the answer.  We need to model and engage our students in this critical conversation on a daily basis and I can’t think of a better way than to create a digital constitution for your classroom, school and community!